Know how to give and take constructive criticism (with examples)

Introduction

“Please don’t get offended but…”

Have you ever received a comment that started this way from a co-worker or supervisor? Or have you ever given a comment that started like this? Chances are, the comment was about something that needed to be addressed or improved. But to give and receive feedback that isn’t seen as positive can be tough, so we try to soften the blow.

It’s important to recognize that not all feedback is positive and that constructive criticism is a valuable tool in the workplace. But in Filipino culture, we tend to communicate indirectly, so we generally aren’t used to constructive criticism. We don’t want others to think we are being rude. We also feel embarrassed to talk about something that needs improvement.

In this article, you will learn the meaning of constructive criticism and the difference between constructive and destructive criticism. Additionally, learn insights on the benefits and elements, and how to prepare yourself and others to give and receive it.

You will also discover tips on how to give and receive constructive criticism, what to avoid, and common challenges faced.

• What is constructive criticism?
• The benefits of constructive criticism
• The elements of effective constructive criticism
• Preparing yourself and others for constructive criticism
• Tips for giving constructive criticism
• Tips for receiving constructive criticism
• Things to avoid when facing constructive criticism
• Common challenges in giving and receiving constructive criticism
• Conclusion
• FAQs

What is constructive criticism?

There are two forms of criticism: constructive and destructive. Both forms focus on mistakes or errors, and areas that need to be improved or changed. But the major difference between these two lies in their purpose.

The purpose of constructive criticism is to provide solutions and chances for improvement. Destructive criticism’s purpose is to accuse and assign blame.

Constructive criticism 

Constructive criticism aims to empower and uplift the person who is being criticized. It seeks to help them improve or develop in a specific area.

Characteristics of constructive criticism

• clear and specific
• provides actionable points for improvement 
• suggests solutions to a problem 
• has a positive and encouraging effect on the one receiving it
• focuses on the task or behavior that needs improvement
• objective and based on facts
• honest and compassionate

Destructive criticism and negative feedback

Destructive criticism is discouraging and does not offer any solutions or help. Instead, it can be a personal attack on someone and is needlessly critical. It focuses on blaming others for mistakes.

Characteristics of destructive criticism

• generic or vague criticism
• does not give any pointers for improvement
• focuses on the problem or mistakes committed and who to blame
• can damage the morale or self-esteem of the person or people receiving it 
• negative comments are directed at the person or people rather than the work
• subjective and emotional
• insulting or harsh

The benefits of constructive criticism

Importance of constructive criticism in personal and professional growth

Constructive criticism can help you grow in your personal and professional life. No one is perfect; we all make mistakes. There are things we don’t know or can’t do yet, in the workplace and at home. If no one will point out the things we are doing wrong or how to go about things properly, we cannot improve ourselves.

If you are a terrible cook, you’d want someone to let you know so that you can upgrade your cooking skills. Accepting constructive criticism with an open mind helps you improve and increase confidence.

Common misconceptions about constructive criticism

Some common misconceptions that people have about constructive feedback:

• Constructive criticism and destructive criticism are the same. If you receive criticism that is vague or communicated with malicious intent, then it is most likely not constructive. It is destructive.
• People do not want to hear constructive criticism. Most people want to improve and do better at work and in other areas of their lives. They are open to receiving constructive criticism from people they know have good intentions.
• Only those who are older or have a higher position can give constructive criticism to others. Everyone is capable of giving constructive criticism to each other. Like any skill, it can be learned. The more you practice giving constructive criticism, the better you will get at it.

How constructive feedback helps individuals improve their skills and performance

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. But not everyone can identify them right away. Sometimes, you might not be aware that you need to improve in certain areas or that you need to develop a skill more. Other people might observe things that you don’t. 

For example, if you keep finishing your tasks late, you may think it is because you have too many tasks. But your co-worker who has the same amount of tasks can finish on time.

She points out that you seem to have an issue with time management. She then gives you some tips on how to manage your time better. She encourages you to try one tip a day and see if that works. She reassures you that with some practice, you’ll be able to manage your time more efficiently.

Your co-worker has provided constructive criticism by pointing out your weakness and giving actionable steps. You now know how to be more productive and finish your tasks on time.

How constructive criticism helps teams and organizations achieve their goals

Many factors affect how well teams and organizations work together. It’s normal for groups to have a blind spot since people are busy with various tasks and may not notice that some areas in their work need improvement.

Regular constructive feedback sessions help keep teams and organizations aligned to meet their goals. By giving constructive criticism to people during these sessions, a team or organization can see the expectations, improve their processes, keep projects on track, and strengthen their work relationships. 

The role of constructive criticism in fostering a culture of continuous improvement

When a group — a team, department, or company — makes constructive criticism part of its process, this can encourage a culture of continuous improvement. That’s because people will realize that you can give and get negative feedback constructively and respectfully. 

Healthy communication is normalized so people can be open and honest with each other. There can be mutual respect in the workplace.

People will know that even if they make mistakes, they won’t be treated harshly and they can improve. They will be encouraged to ask questions and keep learning and improving.

The elements of effective constructive criticism

The importance of timing and context

Constructive criticism needs to be given at the right time and place. Give feedback as soon as possible so that the events or tasks are still fresh. But if the feedback is about an incident that has made you feel bad, wait until your negative feelings settle before talking to the person involved. This is to avoid saying something out of emotion rather than fact.

The use of specific and objective language

Choose your words carefully. State what needs to be improved, why this needs to be improved, and how to improve it. Focus on information that is useful and factual.

Do not blame or judge a specific person or people if a project didn’t go as planned, or if you didn’t get the results you were expecting.

The need for empathy and respect

Imagine yourself in the shoes of the person receiving constructive criticism before you speak. How would you sound from their point of view? Are you being respectful and compassionate? It’s important to show someone respect and care before providing feedback so that they will listen closely and take your words seriously.

The role of active listening and open-mindedness

People who are active listeners show that they value the opinions and ideas of others. If you listen to others, they will listen to you. Conflicts and misunderstandings can resolve successfully when people actively listen to one another.

You also need to be open-minded, as the person you are talking to might have a different perspective when giving or receiving critical feedback.

Preparing yourself and others for constructive criticism

The importance of establishing trust and rapport

The thought of someone pointing out your errors or weaknesses is intimidating to a lot of people. It can make a person feel vulnerable and defensive. That’s why it’s important to build trust and rapport with the person you want to give constructive criticism to. 

Aside from being an active listener, you can build trust by acknowledging someone’s feelings. You can also let them know why you are giving them constructive feedback, and sharing your own mistakes in the past to encourage them. There are other ways to build trust and rapport as well that you can try. Remember to be patient, as trust is not given overnight.

The use of the "feedback sandwich" technique

Many people have used the feedback or praise sandwich to share constructive criticism. You start by praising the person or team or pointing out something positive. Then deliver constructive criticism.

End by pointing out one of the person’s or team’s strengths. This method helps to soften the impact of constructive criticism in case the person or team is not used to direct communication. 

However, this technique has been criticized as confusing and ineffective. A Harvard Business Review article states that the best managers “focus squarely on what needs to change. They pinpoint the behavior, describe its impact, and work out precisely what the employee should do differently.”

The role of nonverbal communication

Nonverbal communication, like the tone and volume of your voice, and eye contact can encourage a person to listen to what you are saying. When you give constructive criticism, show that you are focused by using their name, looking them in the eye, and smiling when appropriate.

How to provide actionable feedback 

When giving actionable advice or feedback, saying “Do better” or “Improve this process” isn’t enough. You need to give clear, specific, and actionable points. This can boost an employee's or co-worker’s self-esteem, as they know what to do to improve their performance and professional development. 

Examples of actionable feedback

Example 1

Clara, a remote worker on your team, rarely replies to emails and messages from her manager and teammates. Because of this, your project is delayed as there is confusion about whether or not she has done a task.

Since you can't communicate with her in person, you need to emphasize how important it is that she replies to emails and messages on time and consistently.

Constructive criticism

"Hi Clara, how are you? I hope you are well. I'm calling because I need to talk to you about our current project, which has been delayed. I asked for an update last week, but you never replied. I need to get a progress update from everyone on the team to make sure that we meet our deadline.

Moving forward, please reply to work emails as needed, and send me a weekly progress update every Thursday afternoon. Let me know if you're having difficulties with some tasks so that I can provide support and we can make sure our team completes the project on time.

Example 2

Juan works hard but has not been able to meet his monthly sales goals so he is feeling stressed and discouraged, which affects team morale. You want to help him find a way to meet his goals and improve his morale.

Constructive criticism

"Juan, how are you feeling? I know that you haven't been able to meet your sales goals for three months now and notice that it is causing you stress. Your teammates and I care about you, and we all want you to be productive but not burned out. So for this month, let's scale back your sales goals and go for something achievable. At the end of the month, we can review your performance and adjust your sales goals for next month."

Example 3

Jesse submits reports late and completes her assigned tasks after the deadlines. You want her to manage her time better so that she can finish work promptly and doesn't need to do overtime.

Constructive criticism

"Hi Jesse, I hope you are doing alright. I notice that this is the third time you're submitting a report late. How can I help you so that you can submit it on time? Please let me know. We can go over the process and develop a plan for schedule management to help you meet your deadlines."

Tips for giving constructive criticism

Here are some tips on how to deliver effective criticism:

• Start with a positive statement. You can ask how they are feeling, or give a compliment to establish rapport.
• Use “I” statements. According to a paper published by Boston University, “an ‘I’ message can help you communicate your concerns, feelings, and needs without blaming others or sounding threatening. In addition, it helps you get your point across without causing the listener to shut down.”
• Be specific and clear. Avoid unclear and generic statements like “You need to improve your work.”
• Focus on behaviors, not personality. For example, instead of saying “You’re such a tardy person” you can say, “You arrived in the office late twice this week.”
• Provide examples. 
• Be empathetic. Find out if there is something that the person is dealing with that is affecting their work. Imagine what it would be like for the person receiving your feedback. Avoid discussing it during team meetings.
• Ask for feedback. After you offer constructive criticism, you can ask the feedback recipient you talked to what they think or how they feel. Was your feedback helpful? Are the points you gave actionable? 
• Use appropriate body language.
• End on a positive note. Encourage the person to do the action points suggested, and let them know that you’re there to help if they need more support or clarification.
• Follow up. After giving constructive criticism, you can follow up with the person or team after a few days or weeks. Has there been any improvement?

Tips for receiving constructive criticism

Here are a few tips on how to receive constructive criticism:

• Be open to feedback. This is one of the best ways to learn and improve.
• Manage your emotional reactions. Do your best to stay calm and remember that the purpose of constructive criticism is development and improvement.
• Listen actively and ask clarifying questions. If there is something you don’t understand or isn’t clear, feel free to ask questions. This is for your own benefit and will show the one giving feedback that you are listening carefully.
• Use the feedback given to you to improve your performance. Focus on the actionable points, specific examples, and suggestions to improve on your weakness and avoid the same mistakes in the future. Be respectful and thank the people who provide feedback. Here are some ways you can use constructive criticism given to you:
  • Example 1: If you do not reply to emails and messages consistently, identify the reasons why. Do you forget to reply often? Are you hesitating to reply? Is there something that is not clear? Put reminders in place and don’t be afraid to ask questions to develop consistent and open communication.
  • Example 2: If you cannot meet your goals, go over them again with your manager or team leader. You can check if your career goals are SMART and if they aren’t, work together with your manager or team to ensure that they are.
  • Example 3: If you are having issues with time management, talk to your manager about what affects your time management. Is there a part of the process that slows you down? Are you distracted by something? Use the time management techniques suggested by your manager.

Things to avoid when facing constructive criticism

When someone gives you constructive criticism, they are doing so for your improvement and for the good of your team or company. You are the one who will benefit the most from constructive criticism, so here are some things to avoid when receiving it:

• Being defensive or argumentative.
• Interrupting or talking over the person giving feedback.
• Ignoring or dismissing the feedback without considering it.
• Taking the feedback personally and feeling attacked.
• Focusing only on the negative aspects of the feedback.
• Reacting emotionally, such as getting angry or upset.
• Dismissing the person giving feedback as unimportant or irrelevant.
• Belittling or undermining the feedback by saying it's not important.
• Being too hard on yourself and taking the feedback too seriously.
• Making assumptions about the feedback without seeking clarification.

Common challenges in giving and receiving constructive criticism

One of the most challenging aspects of giving and getting constructive criticism examples is managing the emotions that may surface during a feedback session. 

If you are the one giving feedback, you may be afraid of hurting the other person’s feelings. Let them know from the start that you are coming from a place of concern, and that the purpose of your specific feedback is to help them improve in certain areas. 

If you are the one receiving feedback, you may be afraid of being criticized. It is natural to feel strongly when faced with your mistakes and weaknesses, but remember that they are not personal attacks.

Resist the urge to avoid or dismiss feedback that you do not like. When faced with an issue that you need to address, focus on the actionable points for improvement and the solution rather than your emotions. 

Conclusion

Constructive criticism is a valuable tool in your personal and professional life. There are many benefits to constructive criticism. This type of feedback can help you learn and grow continuously and lead to positive outcomes. By learning the difference between constructive and destructive criticism, you can give and receive constructive feedback. 

You can practice delivering constructive criticism using the tips and examples in this article so that you can help others with their areas of improvement. You can also take constructive criticism from the people you respect and trust to grow and improve.

Accepting and addressing your weaknesses can bring you closer to success in your personal life and career. So learn to take constructive criticism with calm and grace. And remember to give it with compassion and understanding.

FAQs

1. What is the difference between constructive criticism and negative feedback?
   ⁠Constructive criticism is good feedback that points out an area of improvement in a person or group. It can be an observation presented with clear and actionable suggestions. Receiving negative feedback without action points for improvement, can be discouraging and harmful, and lead to a heated discussion.
   ⁠
2. How can I give constructive criticism without sounding harsh or judgmental?
   ⁠Focus on the behavior rather than the person when pointing out what needs to be improved. Be objective when giving comments. Stick to the facts and provide specific examples.
   ⁠
3. What should I do if I receive constructive criticism that I disagree with?
   ⁠Do your best to remain calm and try not to take the criticism personally. Process the feedback session. What are you disagreeing with — what is being said or how it is being said? Is there something that you want to clarify? Engage in a conversation with the person giving you feedback. You can ask a neutral third person for their opinion to see if the criticism is valid or not. 
   ⁠
4. How can I use constructive criticism to improve my performance at work?
   ⁠Ask the person giving you feedback for actionable points, such as tasks or learning material that can help you develop the skills you need. If they have already given some, do these. Set goals to help you improve in the areas pointed out to you. Follow up with the person giving you feedback to see if you have made some progress and positive change. 
   ⁠
5. How can I encourage my team to give and receive good constructive criticism?
   ⁠The best way to do this is to lead by example. Be open to bad feedback and receiving constructive feedback. Ask for examples of constructive criticism and actionable solutions, and accept suggestions with an open mind. Create a safe space for open dialogues or forums so that your team can practice giving and getting constructive criticism. 

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