Reclaiming your personal power
from JobStreet.com
Having people problems in the office? Undoubtedly, the workplace contains all sorts of individuals, including power trippers. Angelina, an account executive, remembers how devastated she felt when she made a sales presentation before a client who bluntly called her talk “crap.”
But experts say we need not surrender our ego to these confidence robbers. Here are some of the most common ways we allow others to hold sway over our feelings.
Not wanting to upset others. The truth is, some people get “upset” to make us dance to their bidding. When you don’t assert yourself for fear of displeasing someone, you’re surrendering your personal power.
Claiming responsibility. You’re perpetually tuned in to how others feel-and feel responsible for their bad days. Staying focused on others’ emotions will take its toll on your own needs and interests.
Having a victim syndrome. Some people think that the only way they can get what they want is to show a suffering attitude. If you can’t allow yourself to feel confident or happy, you’re making yourself a loser.
Hiding your true self. If you believe that others will reject you if they knew the real you, you’re undermining your own potentials. You’ll never form lasting relationships if you’re not willing to take the risk of showing your true self.
Fearing failure. Comfort zones can be, well, so comforting. You may be happy where you are because you're avoiding failure and cringe at negative feedback-usually from those who want you powerless.
Are you abdicating your right to exercise your personal power? If you’re always held back by the thought that others will get angry or hurt if you’re too pushy, you probably are. If you’re not reaching your goals through your present behavior, you probably are. If you’ve been dubbed the “nicest employee” because you’re so pleasant and agreeable, you probably are.
Want to reclaim your self-esteem? Here are some tips:
If you grew up in a self-defeating environment, identify the self-sabotaging habits you’ve learned and break them.
Hold on to past successes, big and small, to fuel visions of future triumphs.
Buy something new each month to improve your appearance-and boost your ego.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes; just make sure you learn from them.
Put things in perspective. There is always someone worse off than you.
Remember that confidence is about acting-others are just better actors than you!
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