TIME OUT! There are occasions when you have to take longer breaks in the toilet to recollect yourself from the barrage of ridiculous expectations from your boss or clients. Pace around or stare at the walls but essentially, you need the time to be alone and sort through your thoughts and calm down to your normal self.

Everyday, we deal with different types of people in our workplace - co-workers, superiors, clients, suppliers … and the list goes on. It is interesting to discover that human relationships are complex for the fact that we are from different backgrounds with different expectations. Some are bossy whilst others would just like to demand for all your time and energy for a simple assignment. At the end of the day, we have to ask ourselves: “Have I made a positive impact in my working environment amidst all these ‘insanities’ to impress your superior or made your clients happy with your service?” I have to say that we can respond to the situation either by working on it or react negatively and sulk for the rest of the day. Personally, I hold fast to my belief that “When the going gets tough, the tough gets going” and rightfully, everyone should exercise his rights to speak up for what he believes in and explore better ways of executing his assignment instead of just following orders around.

When was the last time you held a grudge? Was it yesterday that you received a snooty remark from someone regarding your presentation at the meeting? Or when you didn’t reach the mark to qualify for the promotion you have wanted so much despite all your hard work? Like it or not, I notice there are a lot of grudges in the workplace, generally; people camouflaged their grievances behind a fake smile but occasionally, you hear a whisper here and there. A tense working environment is not healthy for us and it affects the staff productivity as a whole.

Why then do you hold a grudge? One of the obvious reasons why there is so much of ill will is because we are not encouraged to air our true feelings about a situation at work. We tend to keep these negative feelings to ourselves in the name of professionalism or exercising our work ethics, and as a result, a lot of conflicts are not settled. Unfortunately, they remain deeply ingrained in our conscience until the next bad irritation slaps at our face. If these accumulated grievances are not dealt with soon, we will find ourselves more and more difficult to work with the other person and as a result, we carry with us ‘scars’ in our heart which can take some time to heal or get over with.

What is the impact of holding grudges? Occasionally, I have a bad day or two. It is easy for one to hold grudges and feel spiteful of the other person when you have been wronged unnecessarily. I am sure that for a moment, you have experienced a faster heart rate and higher blood pressure as compared to the time that you forgave someone. Personally, I find that carrying grudges is exhausting, unhealthy and bad for your career. It saps your energy away from getting your work done and can hurt you emotionally as well as financially jeopardizing your work reputation. You find that you have no peace in your heart because you ended up carrying the burden of these grudges to work everyday

Handling grudges will have to start with us. To begin with, stop playing the grievances over and over again in your mind. Deny yourself from relishing at every opportunity to re-tell your gripes to the other co-workers, friends and families. The last time I find myself in this situation, I am reminded of a Biblical scripture, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down when you are still angry…” Yes, let it go. Don’t compromise your health.

Address the problem area with the other person. Open communication is important to let the other person know about your thoughts and how you feel about it, instead of harbouring those grudges within. However, serious grievances ought to be handled by the human resources expertise.

The best way is to nip the bud of a grudge at the early stage to counter letting the feeling of resentment fester and get out of control. Always let the little slights pass because no one is perfect in this world.