In this day and age you would think that sexism in the workplace would be practically non-existent.

Well, unfortunately, it can still be a problem. For some, it is a real nightmare. Sexism can be an issue for both men and women and for straight people and homosexuals. It can affect ones working performance and make life and work very difficult indeed. If you are encountering what you believe to be sexism then there are ways and means to stop the problem and get on with your career in an environment you can enjoy.

Tammy Lee worked as an administration assistant to the Managing Director of a building company. She was young, 22, attractive and had a good sense of humour. After working at the company for five months, she couldn’t have been happier, she knew the job inside out and there was talk of a promotion to the next level of Administration Manager.

“I was never career minded. I simply wanted a job that would pay the rent, but I really got into the swing of the job and it was a good company and I felt I could’ve remained there for good,” she recalled.

One Friday evening, her boss called her into his office and asked how she was getting on with her job and if she was happy. She told him she was and he went on to discuss the imminent promotion. He then asked her if she would like to discuss this further with him over a drink or two that evening. Tammy agreed and they went to a local bar together.

After a few drinks Tammy had a call from her friend whom she was meeting that evening. She could see on the face of her boss that he was displeased and decided to cancel seeing her friend, as she didn’t want to upset him. “I had plans but he looked so upset I felt a little scared to leave.”

They continued drinking and discussing her job, and after three hours Tammy felt tired and decided she wanted to go home. But again her boss proved to be aggravated by this and she again ended up staying. They caught a taxi home together eventually and whilst in the taxi again they discussed her job. However, this time, her boss suggested that they should discuss it in private back at his home.

Tammy knew exactly what he meant; her boss by now had tried to kiss her and was starting to touch her. “It was awful. All I wanted to do was to get out of the situation and get away from him. I felt like a whore. Eventually she arrived home in tears.”

When she returned to work on the Monday morning, her boss called her into the office immediately and introduced her to a lady who was to be the new Administration Manager and Tammy was to report to her. Tammy was dismayed and realised that by declining his advances she had lost the opportunity for promotion. “I actually started to blame myself. I thought I had done something wrong and started to question my loyalty to my boss and the job!”

For the next month Tammy worked for the woman and discovered that she had never even had an administration role before, having been a housewife since leaving school. She confronted her boss but he seemed to relish her anguish. Eventually she ended up leaving the company and walking out without a job to go to.

Timmy Tan was a food editor for a well-known food and wine magazine. He worked within a large office, which housed several other publications, editors and writers. Timmy is gay and likes to keep his private life out of the office. “I used to work with numerous guys and girls and when asked about my private life I would never comment. I was not embarrassed. It was just none of their business.”

One evening he was out dining romantically with his partner and they shared a discreet kiss or two. The next day when he returned to his office, plastered on his computer screen were vulgarities and abuse about homosexuals and how they should be ‘killed.’

“It was so upsetting. Everyone in the office knew about my private life and there was someone who was openly trying to scare me.” The abuse continued day by day, in the form of heavy notes. After two months it became so frightening that Timmy decided that enough was enough, and did as the notes had asked. He left the company.

Mark Soh worked as an accountant for a large legal company. He was a bright spark having gained a Degree from Oxford and was on the way to securing a good career.

His direct boss was a fiery lady, who would always get into debates about feminism wherever possible. She would often accuse Mark of being sexist in meetings in front of people even if he had not uttered a word. “I would walk into a meeting and sit down after the ladies sat down and she would shout out: ‘There’s no need to be sexist, Mark. We are all humans, you know, just sit down and work.’ I would go to hold a door open for her and again she would utter a few derogatory words to a colleague and make me feel as though I was rude and thoughtless. I couldn’t win.”

Eventually, it seemed that all the women in the office would treat Mark in the same manner and whatever he did was always due to him being sexist in their eyes.

Mark was slowly being victimised by his boss and the other women. His work was being affected, he felt afraid to comment on issues and his morale was starting to fade. “At first it was a joke. You know, a bit of banter, but it seemed only to be targeted at me and not the other men. There was a core group of women who would ensure I was made a fool of and labelled as sexist. I even started to question myself. It all became a working environment that I wanted to get out of.” Mark decided to leave the company.

These are just a handful of experiences that have happened to three people. What is important to note is that sexism can happen in many forms: it does not have to be physical; it can be mental and is very invasive.

However, there is help at hand and although it may be tough, you don’t have to walk away from the situation or leave your company. There are ways and means to get around this.

Stand your ground regardless of whether the sexism is coming from a superior or not. Keep your evidence if they are writing notes to you such as in Timmy Tan’s case. It is a very delicate subject and sometimes speaking to the abuser such as Mark could have done may just do the trick. But often, it has to be taken into other hands for the problem to be solved.

Jackie Hure was the PA to a Headmaster at a Primary School. “The headmaster was great at his job and he was well respected. But whenever I wear a skirt to work, he would make a sexual comment and it would be disgusting. I was so upset that eventually I had to see the Bursar of the school to stop it from happening. He explained that this was not the first time and was sorry for the aggravation. Eventually it stopped. Although we stopped talking socially, we got back on track with the work and I could enjoy the environment.”

Within most companies there are Personnel Departments or Human Resources Departments that are there to help in such circumstances. Even if you think they will not believe you, you must go to them and highlight the stress caused. There is nothing worse than suffering in silence and unless you are proactive about the problem it will never stop.

Whilst the three individuals left their jobs, you should in fact see if you could resolve the problem before leaving. Remember you have done nothing wrong and even though it is distressing you can fix it and work in an environment you enjoy!