One reason we don't find satisfaction in our work is that our expectations about what it can provide are unrealistic. We invest virtually our entire selves in the job and expect it to give us what can only come from within. Self-esteem can be defined as an inner sense of personal worth. The cultivation of it is an inside job, having little to do with external factors such as what we possess, whom we know, or the titles we hold.

When we don't feel good about ourselves, we try to hide our feelings of inadequacy and compensate for them. One way some of us try to get rid of our feelings of low self-worth is through our achievements. The more success we attain, the more worthwhile we become as persons – or so we would like to believe. The problem is that, the more we achieve, the larger the hole becomes. Our work becomes like a drug. We get some highs and a sense of well-being from our successes, but they are usually short-lived. We keep having to achieve grander and grander things to get the same high, and the highs get shorter and shorter in duration.

High achieving compulsive workers have difficulty reaching out for help because no one knows they need it, sometimes not even themselves. And they get rewarded for their compulsive efforts, which in turn reinforces the unhealthy behavior that keeps them prisoners.

If you expect work to provide you with all your self-esteem, you will be dissatisfied no matter what you do. you will be forever at the mercy of other people. The people who dole out the raises, promotions, and commendations will become our sources of self-worth, which is a dangerous situation; your self-worth can only come from within.

Here are some of the symptoms that may indicate you are investing too much of yourself in your work:

• You feel best about yourself when you are at work or talking about work.
• Most of your working hours are spent wither at work or working at home.
• You have few or no hobbies or interests outside your career.
• You spend little time with people with whom you share a close relationship.

• When you have worked hard on a project and it is a success, you experience a euphoric high followed by a dramatic low.

• You talk mostly about work in social situations.
• When you first meet people, you make a point to tell them how successful you are.

• When plans at work don't turn out the way you would like, you are unusually demoralized and disappointed.

• You usually put your job before everything else.
• You having difficulty relaxing on vacations.
• You feel angry and resentful when other people interfere with your plans to work.

Some of us are so achievement-oriented and driven toward success that our total focus is work. Our every waking moment is spent wither working or thinking abut work. We have little time for ourselves and other people. Our lives are like a runaway treadmill that never stops.

Impressive titles, power, and money mean little when we have no life outside work. The highs we receive from our successes may sustain us for a while, but if we neglect our basic human needs for too long, eventually our compulsive working takes its toll. We need a healthier, more balanced life for ourselves as the Talmud said, "If I am not for myself, who will be?"